Monday, October 4, 2010

Maybe I Just Want to Leave.


For the better.

Something amazing, new, different, 


I think I need to go. away. and some support wouldn't hurt. I do have a plan. idea. want... need... China. China to teach english. Four months of serving. Four months of a new life. Four months to get my mojo back. I have this amazing idea in my mind, and I can't drop it. I need to go through with this. If I don't, I know I will regret it. At least I can hope I would regret not going. even the thought of doing this gets me all excited. I don't feel like many people think I can do it. It does cost money. my parents don't think I should be paying to go do service. but in order for that to happen, I have to have at least a bachelors degree. and thats so much money and time.... I just need it now. The only thing they (my parents. family. other people.) don't understand, is that I WANT to go. and I WANT to pay to go. Thats the bottom line of service, sacrifice. time. money. me. all of me. and I am willing to do it. I want to go and do it. Who wouldn't. I even found a great friend who would go with me. I can't back down. this is really a MUST in my life now. 

so. I am saving. and saving. and saving. more and more and more andmoreandmoreandmoreandmore. and it will be worth it. and it will work. and we will go. and live in China. cause I want to. I'll make it happen. even if no one thinks I will. I am just not content with my life and how I am living it. I need to do something different and fast or something might just blow up. all over the place. I know this will work. It will. just you wait. I want to love my life, love who I am and what I have done with it. 

Q: why do I have to go halfway across the world to find my mojo? my happiness? content? 

A: -I don't know. I just. do. 

Thank you to those who understand. 

GoodLuck- and GoodNight


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